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Funny Wedding Toasts

When toasting the newlyweds, you only have a few moments to hook the audience.

A wedding toast should be rehearsed. [©Jupiter Images, 2009]
©Jupiter Images, 2009
A wedding toast should be rehearsed.

Funny Wedding Toasts

While guests remember well-written wedding toasts, it's the funny wedding toasts that stand out and keep them talking long after the wedding reception. The protocol for writing a memorable wedding toast is the same whether the toaster gives a solemn toast, a sentimental toast or a funny toast. The Martha Stewart Weddings website lists the two main parts of a well-done wedding toast as planning and practice.

Planning a Funny Wedding Toast

The planning process involves narrowing down the dos and don'ts of the wedding toast. A list of notes about the wedding and reception, consideration of the guest list and personal knowledge about the bride and groom are all important factors when planning a funny wedding toast. Some common considerations when planning a wedding toast are:

  • The length of the toast, including the time spent discussing the bride and the groom separately and as a new couple
  • Personal history of the bride and groom
  • The type of audience at the wedding
  • The best time for the wedding toast
  • The opening line and ending anecdote for the toast


Writing a Funny Wedding Toast

Once the planning process is complete, it's time to write the wedding toast. Giving an off-the-cuff wedding toast is possible, but many people get flustered when faced with a hundred or more faces staring at them, waiting for the perfect delivery of the wedding toast. Advice from The Knot suggests that the toaster write the toast down on note cards or have keywords written as prompts for the main points. Wedding experts frown upon reading the toast word for word from a piece of paper, so practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend is important.

The first few lines of the wedding toast are imperative in hooking the guests into listening and enjoying the toast. Some ideas for funny openers include quotes or a joke. Websites like Abundance-and-Happiness.com have a large selection of funny wedding quotes that make great openers or ending anecdotes for funny wedding toasts. It's best to write quotes or jokes out completely, since remembering them might be tricky during the toast. Keep the humor personal by relating a funny story about the couple while they were dating or remembering something funny about the bride or groom, as suggested by The Knot.

Wedding Toast Etiquette

When working with funny wedding toasts, there is a certain etiquette each toaster should follow. If the toaster wishes to remain in the good graces of the happy couple, it's best not to make the bride or groom out to look like drunkards, losers, cheaters, liars or promiscuous through the use of jokes or bawdy humor. A little dirty humor is acceptable as long as it's kept lighthearted and tasteful; once again, it is very important to remember the type of audience present. Toasters should also avoid stories relating to ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, no matter how funny the story seems. It's also not a good idea to make fun of the bride, her family or the wedding party. Wedding toast humor should entertain guests, not offend them.

Another important aspect of funny wedding toasts is keeping up the momentum with humorous lines. Unless the toaster wants the guests to feel a wave of emotions, from happy to elated to sad to bored, then it's best to keep the toast upbeat and funny. This means avoidance of mentioning dead relatives unable to see the bride or groom marry, seeming uneasy about having to give the speech in the first place and apologizing to guests because they have no choice but to listen. The key to giving a memorable wedding toast is to entertain the guests with stories and quips that honor and celebrate the newlyweds.

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